Coming Out of the Closet 2: Konoha Gone Crazy!
by nocturnalMusings
Summary: It's the weekend after the closet incident, and things are pretty much normal: Sakura and Gaara are together, and Sasuke has meds. But when a jutsu goes wrong, will the village suffer? Or will it laugh its head off? GaaSaku, Sasu Crack
1. Trade Places no Jutsu

From the writer who brought you Coming Out of the Closet and Masque of Red Death, there's the newest thing to hit the fansite airwaves, Coming Out of the Closet 2: Konoha Gone Crazy!

It's finally here! I can't believe how many people reviewed and asked for the new one! It's amazing!

Disclaimer: Oh yeah, like I actually own Naruto? You people are crazy...but very flattering.

* * *

It was your typical Saturday morning in Konoha: The birds were singing, the market was crowded...and Sasuke Uchiha was scaling up the side of Sakura's apartment building with Naruto.

"So why are we doing this again," asked a bewildered Naruto.

"Oh come on! Gaara and Sakura had a date last night! I called Temari and Kankuro, and they said he didn't come home last night. Aren't you even the tiniest bit suspicious?"

They mananged to get to the ledge of her window, and peeked in. The apartment was tidy, but the bed however was still occupied. All that you could see was an arm and a tuft of untidy red hair.

"Oh Sakura...Gaara..." whispered Sasuke through the open window. No response.

"WAKE UP!"

The red-head and the kunoichi woke with a start. Turning groggily, they noticed the grinning idiot...both of them.

"Naruto, what are you and Sasuke doing on my window ledge at seven in the morning on a Saturday?"

"And why did you even wake us up at seven in the morning on a Saturday?"

Naruto scratched his head. "I wanted to see if you guys were up for some training."

Sasuke grinned slyly. "But if you two were two busy...I could call Ino and tell her all about what you were doing this morning..."

"If you even THINK about it, I can and WILL murder you..."

Sasuke and Naruto grinned. "Then get your lazy asses out of bed and meet us in training ground seven."

* * *

The groggy couple meandered their way to the training area, yawning audibly. Sasuke was the first to run up and meet them.

"You're here! Areyougonnatryandcatchmewithsandandsqueezethelifeouttame? Huh? Huh? Are ya?"

Gaara and Sakura looked at the now hyperactive Uchiha.

"Sasuke, did you forget to take your meds this morning?"

"Yesh. Why do you ask, pwetty lady?"

The duo sweatdropped. "Riiiight...whatever. Let's train."

"Okay, Gaara and Sakura versus me and Naruto, 'kay?!"

"Is the authoress TRYING to set us up or something," asked Gaara.

"Probably..."

* * *

The sparring was over for the day, and as the four made their way to Sakura's for dinner, they were ambushed by...

"OMG! I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU GUYS!"

Who was it? Was it the autoress? No...it was Ino.

"Hey, Ino? Do me a favor, and jump off a cliff."

"Shut it, Sakura! I can talk to Sasuke, Naruto, and Gaara if I want to!"

Suddenly, there opened a rift in the cosmos...wait, no, it was just a voice shouting out a justu.

"Trade Places no Jutsu!"

* * *

Cliffie! Holy crap!

I hope this one is as funny as the last one...I really have no clue how it'll go at this point...

Review please!


	2. What Are You Doing In My Body!

Second Chapter! Yays!!!

MY CREATION LIVES!!!

Disclaimer: I wish... I wish I was Masashi Kishimoto...

* * *

Gaara awoke and graoned groggily. He saw Sasuke sitting up, rubbing his head, and Naruto and Ino seemed okay, and Gaara seemed...

_Wait, how am I able to see myself?_

He looked down. He was wearing a skirt, a red zip-top shirt, and leather gloves on his hands. He grabbed a lock of hair, and stared at it. Pink.

A look of confusion turned into a twisted look of horror.

"I'M A GIRL!!"

* * *

That scream caught Sasuke's attention. He sat up, stretching like a cat. Something felt off...very off... 

He looked at his arm, and saw maroon linen. He looked down. Black slacks and ninja sandals. There were also...

"Hey!" He looked at everyone else. Their heads shot up to stare at him. He grinned.

"When I spin around, these little strips of linen flutter around in the breeze!"

* * *

Ino and Sakura (in Sasuke's form) smacked their foreheads. 

"Well, it's obvious who got Gaara's body..." said an irate Sakura, pointing at Sasuke, who was now grinning like an idiot and spinning around on one foot. (lawls...Gaara spinning like a ballerina...)

She ran a shaky, masculine hand through Sasuke's rough, sticky hair. _Urgh, what in the name of the seven pits of Hell did I see in this freak?_

She turned to stare at a hyperventilating Gaara, who was now screaming.

"I'M A FREAKING GIRL! WHAT THE HELL?! GET ME-"

"Gaara, cool it!"

Gaara instanly quieted at the sound of Sakura barking out an order in Sasuke's deep voice. "Sorry, Sakura..."

"Okay, now that Gaara's calm..." she grabbed a still spinning Sasuke by the scruff of his neck and shook. Hard.

"STOP SPINNING, YOU NITWIT!"

* * *

A voice chuckled silently in the shadows. They three were switched, as planned. He had to hand it to him, his parner had some brilliant plans under that stupid exterior... 

"You coming?"

The unknown stranger turned to face his partner.

"Yeah...I'm coming..."

* * *

"We need to tell Tsunade-sensei..." said Sakura as she fiddled with her fingernails. Honestly, did Sasuke not know how to wash his hands or something? She started to scoop the dirt out from under Sasuke's fingernails as the trio tromped off to the Hokage tower. Gaara was still freaked about being a girl, and Sasuke was humming a little song under his breath.

"Mr. Sandman...give me a dream...make him the cutest that I've ever seen..."

"Sasuke, don't sing that. It's irritating."

"Give him two lips, like roses and clover..."

"Sasuke..."

"Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over..."

"SASUKE!"

He turned to face Gaara. "Yes?"

Gaara grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and lifted him clean off the ground.

"Sing that song again, and I'll use Sakura's super strength to punch you clear to next Tuesday..."

"But you can't!"

Gaara smirked. "Watch me..."

"But then the sand will stop you from harming me, because I'm in your body!"

Gaara cursed under his breath. The highly medicated idiot was right, as much as Gaara hated to admit it.

* * *

"Tsunade-hime!"

Gaara threw open the door to see the Sannin asleep on her desk. Again. He tiptoed up to the sleeping medic, and shouted. Loud.

"TSUNADE, GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP OFF YOUR DESK! NOW!!"

The drunken kunoichi raised her head. Groggily, she saw "Sakura" with a frown on her face and her arms crossed over her chest, "Sasuke" looking disgusted, and "Gaara" spinning around on one leg, watching the strips of linen on his shirt flutter in the breeze.

"What do you want, Sakura?"

"Sakura" stared at the woman. She then calmly told her something that caused Tsunade's heart to stop its rhythmic beat.

"I'm not Sakura, I'm Gaara. Sakura, Sasuke, and I seem to have switched bodies. Can you help us?"

Tsunade went wide-eyed before pitching foward into a faint.

* * *

"Shit! This is not good!"

Gaara stared. "Well, this is bad for diplomacy..."

Sasuke was freaked, Sakura began banging her head against the wall, and Gaara ran to the ladies room for a bucket of water and ice.

"Sasuke, help me wake her up!"

Sakura began to shake her sensei by the shoulders. Nothing.

Gaara dumped the whole bucket of ice water on the blonde Sannin. Still nothing.

"Sasuke, do something!"

Sasuke stared at the hypervetilating Gaara and Sakura. "But what?"

"Shock her," screamed Gaara shrilly.

Sasuke looked at Tsunade.

"Your Social Security check bounced! Modern fashion is immoral! YOUNG PEOPLE SWEAR!!"

"Damn it! What are we going to do?"

Sakura looked up at Gaara. "You ass! There's nothing we can do! If she doesn't fucking wake up, we're no closer to getting back in our damn bodies as Choji is likely to go on a diet!"

Gaara then had an idea.

"Oh Tsunade-hime," he said, "All the sake in the world has been destroyed!"

"NOOO!" The Sannin shot up faster than a Roman Candle. "NOT THE SAKE!"

"Thought that'd get you awake," said Gaara smugly.

HOURS LATER...

"So let me get this straight...you all were training, when some weirdo shouts out 'Trade Places no Jutsu' and makes you switch bodies?"

The trio nodded.

"And you expect me to believe this why?"

"Because you can trust us," offered Sasuke hopefully. Sakura and Gaara stared, sceptical.

"Okay, because you can trust Gaara and Sakura?"

Tsunade stared. Everyone listened with bated breath.

"Fine...but only if you give me a week to research this and figure out a cure."

As the three left, Tsunade sighed.

"What did I get myself into?"

* * *

Second Chapter!

Alright, you know what to do...REVIEW!


	3. Clowns and Keeping Up Appearances

Please don't kill me! (dodges sharp objects) I know that it's been forever since I last updated, but I've been in driving school and suffering a massive case of writer's block. I'm here, now, so no more baying for my blood.

Disclaimer: I have manga volume 30, but not the ownership of Naruto.

* * *

"We've got to keep up appearances," Sakura explained, as she fiddled with Sasuke's clothes absentmindedly.

_Seriously_, she thought, _what on earth did I see in him? He wears a purple butt bow, for god's sake!_

"Which means what, exactly? That Sasuke and I have to pretend to like each other?"

"Well, Gaara, you _are_ in _Sakura's_ body, and I _am_ in _your_ body, so…"

"OH GROSS! I HAVE TO _DATE_ SASUKE?!"

"That's the high and low of it," Sakura said dejectedly.

"Oh god," Gaara moaned, "This is worse than that time Kankuro wanted to be a clown…"

Sasuke froze.

"Clown?"

Both Gaara and Sakura stared at him.

"What's wrong with clowns?"

Sasuke grabbed Sakura by the shoulders.

"I HATE CLOWNS! THEY WANT TO BE THE DOMINANT SPECIES ON THE PLANET, AND THEY'LL _DESTROY US ALL_ TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!!"

Sasuke then let go, and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!"

As Sasuke continued screaming, Sakura leaned toward Gaara.

"Gaara," she said over the din of screams, "Even though I know that's Sasuke screaming, it's still weird to see your body screaming like that…"

* * *

A shadowed figure winced as the cacophony of screams increased in volume, sending birds flying and the Inuzuka family dogs howling.

"Remind me why I let you do this," he said to his partner.

"Because you thought it'd be hilarious. And you know what? It is!"

* * *

"…DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY-"

"Sasuke, shut up!"

Sasuke quieted, much to Sakura and Gaara's relief.

"Seriously, though," Sasuke said innocently, "I hate clowns."

THUD.

* * *

Guys, sorry for the short update. I'll have a longer one, but first, I have a problem.

There are two stories, Trapped in Closet: No ramen, believe it! and Trapped in Closet: Fangirl Paradise!

Both have many sections that sound suspiciously like my previous story Coming Out of the Closet, and although I'm not mad that they used almost direct quotes and basic jokes from my story, I am upset that they didn't ask permission. Read both stories, and then please tell me if I should report it or not. I would really appreciate it.

Other than that, REVIEW!


	4. A Final Note

I'm sorry for not doing anything with this in a while, but the truth is that I'm not really feeling it with this story anymore. I've got zero to no motivation for this anymore, and to be honest I think the first story is better if it just stands alone. That is why I am discontinuing this fic. But don't freak! I still have some other really fun and exciting fics that you can read, such as Masque of Red Death and Story of A Girl. I'm only discontinuing this and Konoha and Suna Theatre Troupe 7: Sweeney Todd!

Here's to hoping you guys find me on my other fics,

PandaChan21


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